[Verse 1]
    Dm
    Welcome to the internet. Have a look around.
    Gm
    Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found.
              F
    We've got mountains of content. Some better, some worse.
       A7
    If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first.

[Verse 2]
    Welcome to the internet. Come and take a seat.
    Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet.
    There's no need to panic. This isn't a test (huh huh).
    Just nod or shake your head and we'll do the rest.

[Verse 3]
    Welcome to the internet. What would you prefer.
    Would you like to fight for civil rights or tweet a racial slur.
    Be happy. Be horny. Be bursting with rage.
    We got a million different ways to engage

[Verse 4]
    Welcome to the internet. Put your cares aside.
    Here's a tip for straining pasta. Here's a nine-year-old who died.
    We got movies, and doctors, and fantasy sports.
    And a bunch of colored pencil drawings of all the characters of harry potter fuckin
    Dm
    eachother.

[Verse 5]
    Welcome to the internet. Hold on to your socks.
    'cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his cock.
    They are grainy and off-putting. He just sent you more.
    Dont act surprised. You know you like it, you whore.

[Verse 6]
    See a man beheaded. Get offended, see a shrink.
    Show us pictures of your children. Tell us every thought you think.
    Start a rumor, buy a broom or send a death threat to a boomer.
    Or DM a girl and groom her. Do a Zoom or find a tumor in your-

[Verse 7]
    Here's a healthy breakfast option. You should kill your mom.
    Here's why women never fuck you. Here's how you can build a bomb.
    Which Power Ranger are you? Take this quirky quiz.
     A7                           A7   Gm   F    E     Dm
    Obama sent the immigrants. To vac- cin- ate- your- kids.

[2x Chorus]
             Dm
    Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
      Gm
    A little bit of everything. All of the time.
    F
    Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime.
    A7*
    Anything and everything. All of the time.

[Interlude]

[Verse 8]
    Dm        C                     Bb     A7
    You know, it wasn't always like this
    Dm       C
    Not very long ago
    Bb               A7
    Just before your time
    Dm           C
    Right before the towers fell
    Bb           A7
    Circa '99

[Verse 9]
             Gm
    This was catalogues
     F
    Travel blogs
    A7             Dm
    A chat room or two
                Gm        F
    We set our sights and spent our nights
    A7        C7
    Waiting

[2nd Chorus]
        Fmaj7
    For you
    Dm7
    You
      Bb       C
    Insatiable you
          Fmaj7            Dm7
    Mommy let you use her iPad
    Bb              C
    You were barely two
           Dm          C#dim
    And it did all the things
       C              Bb
    We designed it to do

[Bridge]
        Bb
    Now look at you
        C
    Oh, look at you
    D
    You

[2nd Chorus]
    Gmaj7       Em7
    You
      C           D
    Unstoppable, watchable
         Gmaj7              Em7
    Your time is now. Your inside's out.
    C              D
    Honey, how you grew
           Em7        Ebdim
    And if we stick together
        D                C
    Who knows what we'll do
           C          D
    It was always the plan
               Ebdim         Em7
    To put the world in your hand

    Em Em/B Em Em/B Em Em/B Em Em/B
    [laughing]

[Chorus]
             Em
    Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
      Am
    A little bit of everything. All of the time.
    G
    Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime.
    B7*
    Anything and everything. All of the time.

             Em
    Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
      Am
    A little bit of everything. All of the time.
    G
    Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime.
    B7
    Anything and everything
    B7
    And anything and everything
    B7
    And anything and everything
    B7*                    Em* (as hard as you possibly can!)
    And all of the time